I am a married woman

So I am now a married woman, a wife, Mrs Milner and I love it. Before we got married we said nothing would change, since we have lived together for 3 years, gone through, illness, unemployment and infertility and other challenges we never thought anything would change, but here’s the deal, 1 thing has changed! I love him MORE now than I did before, it is like we are dating all over again, getting butterflies when we see each other, sparks when we touch and fireworks when we kiss. I love being married.

The wedding was P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!!! The weather was amazing, the venue was beautiful, the food was decadent, the flowers were stunning, the was divine, the music was fun, I felt beautiful (and wore white) and he looked good enough to eat, the only complaint I have was that I was SO tired, and SO uncomfortable. From about 22:00, my stomach got bigger and bigger, and my dress felt tighter and tighter, but other than that it was the perfect wedding, but more importantly we have a perfect marriage, I have a perfect husband!!! I will post pics of the wedding soon.

As far as the pregnancy goes, all is good. Peanut is growing well, everything is on track and it is the right size for the Gestational age, having said that he also said it is small, but we musn’t worry because P and I are both small. I have felt movement, lots of movement, Paul has also felt it kick and do somersaults and we have also seen movement. Mostly at night when I get into bed, and when I am sitting at my desk working. We dont know if it is a girl or a boy, hence the reason I am refering to it as “IT”, terrible I know. I feel like it is a boy, but only the birth will tell!!! I am 25 weeks, so 15 weeks to go, and it has been an easy amazing pregnancy, the only thing i will complain about is the tiredness, I am so tired, all the time, and that sucks, and getting serious headaches, but other tha that i cant really complain. I love this child already, and nothing will ever change that.I am having some belly pics taken in the next few weeks once i get them I will post.

I promise that Iwill not wait another 3 months to post an update.

If you are celebrating halloween have fun.


Firstly Thank you for all the well wishes it means so much to me.

So I am now 14 weeks pregnant. WOW!!!! I never thought I would say that. But everything is going well. No morning sickness, no constipation (tmi), and the fatique has gone away. So all is good. My next app is in 2 weeks where the doc will be able to tell us the gender if the baby is lying in the correct position, but we dont want to know, we want it to be a surprise. We have gone ‘public’¬† and everyone is really happy for us, I have already started showing which is really weird for me but really cool. I have like no jeans to wears which SUCKS because I love my jeans. We went to Edgars today to look for maternity jeans and they had a total of 2 pairs to choose from. Green or dirty blue. Just because you pregnant doesn’t mean the clothes have to be awefull colours. And they had a total of 4 tops to choose from, all the same style just diffrent colours, a choice of black, white, grey or brown. I mean seriously cant they have something bright – I call this ‘pregnancy prejudice’ anyway will go look at tums and tots tomorrow.

And I get married in 8 weeks…yes that is right…8 weeks. I haven spoken to the people where I bought my dress, and we have made an arrangement to make sure I have the perfect dress. So I am happy. All the invitaitons are done and we have started handing them out, the venue is booked, the DJ is booked, the photographer is booked, then on Saturday morning we are going to go buy bridesmaid dresses and meeting the marriage officer on Saturday afternoon, and choosing a cake next week Sunday, the flowers are also sorted. So everything is on track ūüôā Which I am really happy about.

Chat soon.

Well the wedding plans are coming along nicely, we have a venue, a DJ and the biggest thing of all…I have THE dress, not any dress, not a simple White dress, but THE dress that is perfect for me, its suits my body, my personality and everything about me….but most importantly it is the dress I will wear when I say “I Do”, the dress I will wear when I devote the rest of my life to my Lover, My Partner and My Best Friend, and it is beautiful….and I love it….and now the sad part about The Perfect Dress…..I might have to Exchange it!!! Why? Well here is the other big news. We have changed the date from 07 January 2011 to 02 October 2010…yes that is 2.5 months away, that is 11 weeks away and the reason we have changed the date is because….I AM PREGNANT.

I never thought that this would happen to me, I never thought that I would get knocked up while planning and wedding and have to change the date, I never thought that my dream would come true.

I am 10 weeks today, (finally in double digits) nobody was more surprised than we were, I took the HPT on Pauls birthday….coincidintally the day I bougtht The Dress, and also P’s 41st Birthday. I went to him with the +HPT in one hand and anti-ageing eyecream in the other hand, both hands behind my back. I asked him “what do you think will keep you younger for longer? This? (and showed him the eye cream) or this? (and showed him the test)” he looked at me very confused and said “What is it” so I said “Its a postive pregnancy test! I am pregnant!” He could not believe it. We both went quiet, and did not say anything for a while, we were both thinking, wondering ‘how the hell did this happen’ then when I needed to pee again, I went to the bathroom and took another HPT put it back in the box, and gave it to him to read the results, he read them and they were positive again, he looked at them, looked up, and I saw tears in his eyes, and new that I was pregnant, I hugged him and said “happy birthday”. Anyway we took 2 more on Sunday and they were both positvie as well, so I went to the gynae on the Tuesday, and saw the heart beat. It was amazing. I am due on 12 Feb 2011 and very excited.

As far as the pregnancy goes, it hasn’t been too bad, No morning sickness, had a few cravings namely flings, chinese food and healthy stuff like fruit and veg, gone off things like stews and soups. The only thing¬†I have been battling with is being tired, OH my word i am so tired ALL the time. Anyway it is all worth it. P has had sympathy pregnancy, gone off some foods.¬† And i just think that is so funny. Got another App with doc this week, so if i get a chance i will let you all know how it goes. But here are some pics, of the sticks that changed my life.

P’s Birthday Present

It happened to be fathers day on the 20th, so when I showed P the test I took on Sunday, I said to him “Happy Fathers day”

The Proposal

So I know that some of you are wondering how he proposed so here it is.

My 25th birthday was on the 2nd May, which fell on a Sunday so he said he wanted to take me out for a special diner as it is a special birthday, you know turning 25. So i said ok, fine. He took me to Aloe Ridge¬† Lodge, there is a lovely little restuarant there, you have to walk through a forest, very exciting and romantic. Unfortunately it wasn’t as clear as he wanted it to be but it was still very beautiful. We had diner in the restuarant, the restuarant is on like a cliff. Anyway so after we had eaten, and we were waiting for a delicious dessert we went upstairs onto the deck for a smoke, I broke my cigarette on the way up so he went back downstairs to get me a new one, while i was waiting for him i was looking at the sceneray it was just mountains and stars, it was STUNNING, when he came back I said “Look at the sky babe, the stars look absolutely beautiful” there were MILLIONS of stars, his response “Not as beautiful as you” so¬†i jokingly said “I’ve trained you so well” anyway he pointed to something and i turned around to look at what he was pointing at, when i turned back to look at him, he was on one knee with box open, he told me he loved me and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and asked me to marry him. Of course¬†I leaned over and kissed and said “Of course i will marry you” and kissed him.¬†

So that is our fairytale, kind of cliched proposal, but it was perfect in everyway.

Here are some pics of the ring.


So we have not set a date yet, but we thinking January next year.

We going to look at bridesmaid dresses today, to get a estimated price, we also going to look at rings. We going on Tuesday to look at a venue. We need to get a budget in place, and then the fun begins. Will keep you updated.

On the baby making front. We have put that on hold for like 2 months. He is going back on the fertiboost at the end of the month, and see what happens.

Anyway, if you know of any photographers, florists, dress makers etc…please let me know. Looking forward to your comments.

I’m Engaged

So I have been a bad blogger. But I have good news…

I’m Engaged. I got engaged the night before my birthday 01 May, it was magical and beautiful and perfect.

We have not set a date yet, we are looking at early January 2011 or December 2011 but we will see how it goes.

As soon as i have more details i will update

TTC Update

So P has been taking the fertiboost for one month, and things have really changed I wont go into the details but lets just say I have been getting a lot of ummmm…..loving since he started taking it, he says that he feels UH…diffrent when he releases. We both know my cycle perfectly, what cycle day i am on, when I am going to ovulate, and all the rest. We have a ‘Baby Pillow’ which P props under my back after intercourse, I lie like that for 30-40 minutes, while P goes to get me something to drink, sometimes he sits and chats to me, othertimes he makes diner for us while I read a book or watch TV, and other times he just sits and ‘talks’ to his sperm, telling them to ‘swim you little buggers, swim’

On other news, our relationship is so strong at the moment, we have date night one a week, on Tuesdays, we take turns arranging it. 2 weeks ago he told me to get dolled up, where a pretty dress and get ready. So I did that, he came home, picked me up and took me out for an amazing diner, then this week it was my turn. So I got diner preped, so that it just had to go into the oven, then I ran us a bath with aromatherpy oils that had afrodisiac properties, rose petals, candles, glass of red wine and we had a bath together, then we went to the bedroom where we had more candles lit and rose petals on the bed. Very romantic, like in the movies, except in the movies they dont tell you how much of a mess it is to clean up. But things between us have been so romantic and passionate between us.

On the job front, I still have not found a job, but have gone for a few interviews, I have started 2 businesses from home, one on my own and one with a friend of mine.¬† The first one I do is Scrapbooking for people, if you have photos that you want ‘documented’ I do that in a form of a scrapbook, you give me the photos and the themes you want I created a memory lane book for you, there is no set price, it depends on how many pages you want, and how much products I use, it takes anywhere between 1-2 weeks to complete. The second one is making and selling aromatherapy candles, with a twist, they are packaged beautifully and are great gifts. You get the aromatherapy scent and effect. So if you want either of these send me an email or leave a comment and¬†I will get back to you.

So wish me luck with my future endevours!!!!!!!!!

Yes, it is that time of the month again, and I am so sad. I am so tired of going down this road, month after month¬†I wait for AF NOT to arrive, and month after month I get sad. When will I stop feeling this pain? Will I¬†ever? It is strange how so many people pray for AF to arrive, and then they are late, and then they get a BFP, and then they do what they can to get ‘rid’ of it. It just seems so unfair that good people, like P and I have to go through this.

A friend of mine and I were talking about this the other day and she was agreeing with me, and she has 4 children. She was telling me that when her and her hubby were trying for there 3rd child after the third month of trying she was really hurting, she couldn’t understand how I have been able to cope for 2,5 years

I am feeling so many emotions, sadness, anger, jeolousy, annoyed and so many other emotions I dont know how to express them. The most powerful emotion however is anger, I am so angry at everyone and everything and with that anger comes questions. Why did I get dealth this hand in life? Why cant something good happen to me? Am I really such a bad person that I dont deserve to be happy? After all I have cant through isn’t it my time now? When will it be about me?AAAAAAAAARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!